Your face is a jimmy john
how can u be prego again
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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