I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
