I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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