i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
