That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
