Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
