I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
