i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
