I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
