Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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