The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
