weddingsv make me drug and hornr
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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