you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
