I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
