they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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