doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
