Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
