her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And then he peed in my hair
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