You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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