Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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