Acid is not a monday night drug
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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