the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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