I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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