so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
