is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
