We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
