My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
