That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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