awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
