you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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