you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
They are going to name an STD after you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize