I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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