life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
too bad you live with your parents still
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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