yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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