that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
