If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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