you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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