HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize