The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
