If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
