youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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