im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
