i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
love makes seman taste better
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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