I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
