you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize