It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
