i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
