Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure

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(423): View more from Tennessee

he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.

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(302): View more from Delaware

He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"

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(856): View more from New Jersey

in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock

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(228): View more from Mississippi

She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her

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(904): View more from Florida

He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!

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(517): View more from Michigan

Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present

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