Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
