My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
