I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
