Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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