my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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