I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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