There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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