Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
