Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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