In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
