so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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